I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Bonjour! I'm back :D And I'm gonna post a new entry about my friend's birthday. She's becoming a 15-year-old teenager today. I was thinking whether I should put her photo here or not :/ Oh yea, she is beautiful and talented. Now why did i say that? Because she can sing and play the guitar well. May God hear all of her prayers, bless and protect her in any condition and help her in her studies. Aww, I miss being the birthday girl. I miss the way people used to wish my birthday. I miss that time when I made a wish and blew the candles. The delicious cake and parties and families! Oh Memories.. :)

And my studies? They're stuck in the moment :( I can't focus a single thing on my studies. There will be lots of exams out there and they are trying to get me! PMR is coming nearer, too. I hate having too many things to think. I admit that I've been thinking TOO MUCH o.O I'm thinking about my looks, my family, my religion and studies. It's driving me nuts and I'll lose my mind! I talked to my dearest class teacher and she helped me with one of my problems. She's really good at giving advices and I really appreciate her :) But my mind is just so stubborn! I want to think positively but my mind won't let me! I really hope that God can help me with this. I'm totally stressed out >:(  Sometimes I dream of an angel sent from God comes to me and take me to meet God. I want the answers of all of my questions. Do God really hear my prayers? Seriously, will He listen to me? A dirty, sinful person like me? Honestly, there's something wrong with my faith. Sometimes I just wanna scream out loud on top of the mountains and throw myself off, swim in the depths of the ocean and drown myself, ask forgiveness from my mother and kiss her goodbye. But I know that I'm worth life. So why should I give it up? I'll live it up!

A family really means "something"

Hey peeps :) Phew! Felt like a non-existing blogger since I'm on hiatus. Looks like I didn't get my freedom yet -.- I just wanna share to all the readers (If I have any) about a family gathering at my house on Saturday night. Urghh...Why is it not on Friday night? Haha :D And yes, many of my relatives showed up. We're celebrating my brother's success of going to a university in Pulau Pinang. So my grandma blessed him with holy water and we all prayed so that he will be blessed by God no matter where he goes. Little did I know, I have two uncles that own a band! And that band is quite popular in our state. We saw his music video and I was like, "Isn't that Uncle Johnny and Uncle Martin?! OMG!" Oh yes, I'm proud of them. But I'm not here to boast or something :P For the first time in my life, I felt really close to my big family. I felt good, calm, overjoyed and EVERYTHING NICE! I treasured every moment I had with them. 'Cause I know that someday I would look back to those precious moments and realize how much I miss them. And there was my second cousin. She's soooo beautiful! I mean, naturally beautiful. She won't need make-up to cover up, and being in the way that she is is enough. LOL XD Whooaaa, don't go straight ahead to the negative side! I compliment her 'cause I want to be like her. Don't mention the L-word! Everybody wants to be beautiful. Don't you want to be beautiful? But actually, beauty is present in every human being which God created. So cheer up!

So... conclusion? I LOVE MY FAMILY! Every one of them. I really appreciate the true meaning of family. It could be quite powerful. Don't underestimate your family. Love them. Accept them way they are.

P.s Today's quotes:  God has perfect timing; never early, never late. It takes a little patience and faith, but it's ALWAYS worth the wait :)

\Hiatus/ :p

Hi bloggie and fellow readers! I had abandoned this blog for a long, long time ;( That's because I'm so busy with homeworks, school, studies and everything ._. I'll never be free >< So I'm here to tell the readers that I'll be on hiatus for one or two months. Btw, Happy Chinese New Year! Do leave your footprints on my tagboard and I'll reply as soon as I got freedom, okay? :) And don't forget to click the 'Follow' button :D Sayonara, bloggers!

Oh, I almost forgot. My new year's resolution is to collect more money, improve myself and Hakuna Matata! I'll try as hard as I could. Quote for today is : Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And Today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present :)

Start of Something New

See the title there? Yea, I know it's lame :p but i don't give a damn. Christmas is over and it ends so fast. But my joy would last forever :D I just miss Christmas time. To me, this year's Christmas is the best Christmas ever! On Christmas Eve, we built a campfire, sit around it, and sang Christmas songs. Well, I wasn't really singing. Who wants to sing if you have a terrible voice? So I decided to keep my mouth shut. I only sang some parts of the song. On Christmas, we woke up and felt like it was just an ordinary day. On the same time, I couldn't believe that it was Christmas! Time flies too fast D; My cousins were going back to their home on 26th. That was the day when I felt really lonely. As if no one was there for me to cheer me up. Whenever I'm surrounded with my beloved cousins, I feel very secure. All those memories about them, I can't get it out of my head. That really made me wanna cry. On 27th, it was our turn to go home. My grandma dropped a tear, you know. I don't like seeing her cry. I want to see her wearing a smile on her face all the time. Have you ever wondered how did your grandma look like when she was a teenager? :P

If you ask me when is the happiest day of my life, my excellent answer would be every Christmas Day. Because the Lord is born on that day. A day that brightens up the life of every man in the world. I really, really love Christmas. Okay, that's all about my Christmas time. Now let me share with you guys about my coming new year. It's one more day to go :) Yay! I'm in Form 3 next year. Form 3?? That gives me chill down my spine. I'm gonna sit for my PMR D: Oh no, that's a nightmare. Never mind, I'm going to prepare myself seriously next year. I'll make sure that I get straight A's for PMR. With a liitle help from my family, teachers, friends and of course, God. I'm not gonna start a new life, but I'll try to improve my habits and attitude. I want to be a cheerful, friendly and diligent girl :D Mom says I'm not a socialite person. That's 100% true. People don't get along with me. So I'll try my best to make people comfortable with me. Wish me luck, readers! That's what I call a "Start of Something New". Thank You God, for giving me the best year of my life (2011), I learned so much and met many nice people in this year. You've taught me lesson that I would never forget. You've taught me about patience, love, friendship and the best of life.

P.s Dear 2011, I'm gonna miss you. A lot lot lot lot lot  :) Love ya!

Enough is Enough

Didn't you know? I've been having a crush on you since last year. Didn't you know? I've been enduring so much pain, watching you at class all the time. I had no idea whether I'm still sane or vice versa. I watched you smile, watched you laugh, talk, walk, I laugh at your jokes, even though it's never meant for me. I counted your footsteps, I kept all your messages. A simple "Hi" means too much for me. I thought you're a dream to come true. But you're not a fairy tale, you're a dream meant for sleeping. You never knew that I exist. And that you never knew how many times my heart skipped a beat when you walked over me. I stupidly smile when I see your name on the screen. Well, no worries dear :) I had enough. I'm tired of enduring. I'm tired of waiting. I'm done dreaming. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of everything related to you. All I wanna say is, I'm done chasing after you. I hate being invisible. That's it. I'm fully over with it. I'm sorry for stalking over you.

"I hate myself for still caring about you all the while knowing you still don't give a shit about me."
"I hope someday you'll find all my quotes, all my words, and read them all. I hope you'll know that they're all about you."

I'll stop it, right now, okay? :)