Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Color quiz :)

Hello there :) This is a post which I took from Chelsea's blog . I'm so grateful . Since I'm so damn bored and don't know what to post, so I go blogwalking and saw her post . (Really , thank you , affie :DD) So here it is: 

Your Existing Situation
Stressed and confused about love, family and my rights. I want to be loved by the one that I adored so much. I want him to love me just like I loved him with all my heart.

Your Stress Sources
Always be the one who's making horrible mistakes. Not satisfied with myself as I was always been blamed for everything happened. Always being isolated from friends and families.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Being so aggresive and ignorant, as well as annoying. Always shout out opinions and never want to give up in a quarrel or a fight, even with my family.

Your Desired Objective
To be the best among the best and wish to be a perfect human being although it's not possible. Wants to be a girl who doesn't care about what people think of her. Wants to be someone who makes no mistakes and so clever. A girl who was adored all the time and never been underestimated. Wants to be happy, confident and more alive on every single day.

Your Actual Problem
Never had the chance to spit out my own decisions, never had the time to be alone and feel the peace in my life, never had the chance to GET what I want. Least loved by family. Never had full attention from everyone around. Never had the opportunity to be understood and never ever had the chance to have someone to be with, someone who can bear with my disabilities, someone who can be by my side and someone who can love me sincerely.

Your Actual Problem #2
Afraid to end up in hell. Feeling underestimated by someone better than me. Feeling lonely every time as if I'm alone in this whole wide world. Feeling like a stupid person. Feeling like an ugly, naughty and bad girl. 

I just want a happy and peaceful life. That's all ;)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Missing You Today ..


Hi there,today when in my way to the church,i saw him.That time they had just finished cleaning the grave.He still same as before.No change but kinda higher a little bit . Hurmmm.. I miss the moment,our memory.I just can't even forget him.Eventhough we dont have any relantionship already.But i stil hope that some day we can talk,laugh go outing together with our friends .. X) .and the most important i can see his smile after a long time i never seen that smile .. I really miss that smile .. TT_TT


Tell my why do things have to change when they were perfect from the start...?
Why do we have to lose everything that we have always been holding onto,
I kept thinking that this loneliness, this sadness, this.. emptiness would be gone if I kept you by my side. But now, I realize that even though something is near you.. they feel.. distant. Was it because I was forcing them to continue staying by my side? Was it because.. because you don't feel the way I wanted you too. Was it because.. was it because I was too selfish to realize what you truly felt? Was it because.. I was always focusing on my feelings, that I didn't even have the time to consider what YOU felt? Or was it because.. you saw right through me..?
i always wonder if i died if anybody would miss me..i feel alone.i wonder since nobody seems to even care about my feelings and they just assume i am fine, would anybody even notice if some day i just disappear??

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Why ?

I'm gonna get crazy ! If I stay like this forever until form 3 , I will not be able to pass my exam . That's for sure ! Hey , him! Please get out of my life ! I feel like I wanna transfer to a new school ! Why ? Because I'm crazy ! Crazy because of him . Why must I control myself each time when I look at him ? He's not watching me , so why must I control myself ? I think I'm just a stupid, dumb, crazy nerd . I can't live like this . I can't focus in class . Why must I fall ? Why must I fall in this stupid thing which they called, "love" ?  Argghhh!!!! It's such a headache, heartache and everything-ache ! Never mind, I'll work hard with all of my strengths and feelings, to forget him for eternity. I'll make sure that I'll be free after holiday . Feeling fresh without any doubt anymore . Yay ! Looking forward to forgetting you, him ! I'm not gonna be crazy after you get out of my brain .

Before :

After holidays :

Oh yeah ! xoxo

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Give Me a Clear Sign, Please! =.=

Hello , readers! Since I've kept this secret for a long time, I decided to reveal this secret. Okay, now I'll start with another him . I have some feelings towards him . Not just ordinary feelings, but it's an outstanding one . (Not really, actually :P) My day wouldn't be perfect without looking at him every single day at school. I don't know why , but I think he's starting to get uncomfortable . Well, for two or more times we nearly see each other face to face  and that's because of me . 'Cause I keep staring at him . Who wouldn't feel uncomfortable if somebody's watching you all the time? I tried not to look at him or care about him anymore but I can't ~!!!! This is what you get when you let your heart win ;(( Sometimes, I feel like I want to shout loudly and clearly in front of him saying, "Do you know something? Have you ever notice that I like you? I wish to know what kind of girl that you like! Don't you ever understand? I want to know your feelings! Please tell me ! Give me a clear sign! I'm not forcing you to love me like I loved you but I can't be like this anymore . I wanna let it out ! I want you to know that I liked you since 2010 !" But that's not gonna happen . I'll be DEAD if I spit that out. Yeah, dead because of shame TT_TT . Please, somebody please help get rid of this stupid nonsense feeling. I don't wanna suffer anymore . Besides, I already have a "teddy bear" . And I can't be unfaithful to him . It's not fair . But I dare to admit , that I love him more than my existing "teddy bear" . Sorry , "teddy bear" . . . .  ;(((
Here, take my broken heart .

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Some boring stories :P

Hye there :) I'm so bored , so i made a boring love story . I don't know if you're gonna enjoy it or not but , i enjoy posting in to my blog . :P

I woke up finding myself lying on a bed in a hospital . I'm puzzled to see mom and Ben sleeping beside my bed . Maybe they were accompanying me since last night . I tried to get up and wake them up but I feel so weak that I can't even move my arms. Without any notice , Ben woke up and smiled at me .
"Feeling okay, sis?"
"Almost. What happened?"
"Shhh.. Get some rest. You're not fully recovered"
So I lay down and take a deep breath. I tried to remember what happened last night. I was at the club last night, drinking coca-cola. Stephanie's there, dancing . And suddenly, I felt dizzy so I get out of the club leaving Stephanie, reached my car and drove home. After that, I can't remember anything. A few minutes later, mom woke up.

"Oh my dear Sophie! You're alive!"
"Of course I'm alive, mom. Tell me, why am I here? What happened? Who sent me here? Where's my car?"
"Your car is at the workshop. Don't worry, your brother will take care of your car." I glanced at Ben. Then looked at mom. Still waiting for an answer. 
"Wait, you don't remember anything about last night?"
"Yes, I do. But , after I got into the car, I can't remember anything."
"Don't tell me, that you don't have any idea why you knocked out a motorbike?"
"What??! A motorbike? No, I don't know anything!" I was shocked hearing what mom had said. How come I did something like that? But hey, it's possible. Wasn't I dizzy last night? Hahaha .
" Yes, a motorbike. And there's a guy who called me and informed me about it . He's the one who brought you here. Who is it? Do you know him?"
Wow! This is PUZZLING me. Who's that kind guy? My mind is racing.
"What's his name?"
 Mom took out a card from her handbag and read it.
"Maxwell Tony"
 HEY !! That's the name of the guy who spammed on each of my status in FB ! Does he know me? 
Okay, now I'm ran out of idea. Will continue this boring story again next time. :))

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Don't know what to do =.=

Okay , I'm super bored right now. Many stories to tell but my hands are too heavy to type more words and sentences. I just want to tell you guys that I'm so frustrated about him . He's such a headache! Well, I can't tell much about him here , 'cause somebody may be a spy . Don't want my little secret to be exposed.

Btw, my tests are over and i'm shaking to see my results . Hope i'll get a good and satisfying grade. And what makes me happier is... I've watched Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 ! It was so awesome, amazing, great and WOW ! Now I've become a fan of Harry Potter. Well, Twilight Saga was never blown away from my heart , though :PP
Not necessarily to mention, Hermione is my favorite character! She was brilliant, smart and pretty. Ginny is pretty, too. Hahaha XD I love the parts when they perform a spell ^_____^

I love the three of them! :DD Guess I'll be turning into a Potter-addicted girl from now on :P

Monday, August 1, 2011

Preparing, . .

Exam is just around the corner! 1 more week and i'll be facing a serious war! My results are getting worse lately. It's because of lack studying. Staring at the monitor for hours and didn't touch the books, this is what i got. I need to get all A's for this test otherwise i'll be punished (╥_╥) This is such a drag. NO cellphone, NO facebook, NO Internet , NO tv and NO blogging! ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶  I can't live like that! o(≧o≦)o  So, from this day forwards, i'm going to struggle to get that "A" . So I might be on hiatus. But no worries, i'll check on my blog whenever i have free time. Sorry if i didn't manage to reply your tags :( Will be missing my friends' and my blog everyday (●*∩_∩*●) Wish me luck on my test ! Btw, hope my cellphone would never be taken away from me.